"you don't understand. I've been there."
A really good person never cares about the past or the future, let alone regard himself as the answer.
when I was a child, I was stubborn and always felt that my father could not keep up with the times.
when I volunteered that year, my father told me that XX university was better. In the end, I stubbornly chose another university. Later, after personal experience and comparison, it was found that XX University had a more scientific system, more student resources were exchanged, and a NBA-level gymnasium was built.
there is no regret, but I have to admit that I was wrong at that time.
there are many similar things. For example, before the high school entrance examination, my father reminded me that it is good to have self-confidence, but if self-confidence exceeds strength, it is conceited.
I said he thought too much and then went on making waves, and finally got 50% in the high school entrance examination.
and the strange thing is that although my father is right every time, he never forces me to make any choices. He always tells me:
"I haven't gone the way you did. It's just my experience and analysis. I think it's reliable, but if you have other ideas, I support you."
this stocking attitude makes me sometimes complain jokingly: "Dad, I wish you had forced me to go to XX."
as far as I know, he sighed for several days after I chose another university.
my father smiled and said he knew he was wrong, and then added: "but remember, this is your own choice, and no one can decide your life, including me."
this way of education has really made me take a lot of detours, and I have been annoyed once.
and it wasn't until I went to college that I realized how valuable my father's way of education was.
after I go to college, the things that hit me the most often come from some "seniors".
chatted with a senior brother and asked me what I was going to do in the future. I said to become a freelancer and play while working.
he smiled earnestly and said I was too young. I remember his exact words too clearly: "your generation always wants to play and doesn't do something in a down-to-earth manner." As an experienced person, I advise you to learn some coding techniques in a down-to-earth manner. "
I asked why I couldn't become a freelancer.
he says freelancers are too difficult to be realistic.
I asked why I gave up when it was difficult.
he turned around and said that freelancers are not as good as they seem.
I said I know, I have done a lot of understanding, I think I am quite suitable. So he suddenly disdainfully dropped the last sentence: "anyway, as an experienced person, that's all I want to say. You can't help it if you don't like it. It's all true."
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then we slowly stopped practicing, and a year later, I dare not say that I have become a full freelancer, but I dare say that by writing, I have become 80% freelancer.
Zhang Jingzhi recently had a Weibo post, which was very interesting: "it's not that young people have no attitude, but as soon as they graduate, people older than us like to ravage our attitude to prove that they are better than us."
you must have met a lot of "experienced people" who criticize your life indiscriminately.
the best laugh is that under a comment entitled "We are post-90s, we don't want to endure hardships casually", "as an experienced person, I would like to say that it is good for your future to eat more bitterness" and "as an experienced person, I think it is really important to have fun in time."
I have no idea which "experienced person" I want to listen to.
I am extremely disgusted with the sentence pattern "you don't understand, I have been there". I really hate it from the bottom of my heart.
because this sentence is nonsense, any kind of words can be followed by it-as an experienced person, I suggest you read more books, I suggest you work harder, and I suggest you go out more.
when does anyone still use age as an indicator of truth?
these experienced people seem to hit me in the name of your own good, but in fact? Oh yeah?
think back to my dad, every time he calls me, he can't do without these two words: "you have to work hard." But don't tire yourself out. "
look at the experienced people who advise you to do something. Do they really care whether you are tired or not?
in fact, they care more about whether they are right or not.
the "experienced people" have a big trick, which is called: "you don't like what I say, but I'm telling the truth."
as soon as their sentence comes out, it seems impolite for you to express a little bit of dissatisfaction.
and as an impolite person, I always go back like this: "I guess you don't like what I say, don't use'I've been there'to persuade people who haven't come yet."
do you know that every time I finish saying this, people who have been through the past will say that you are unenterprising, ungrateful and ungrateful.
I'll never get a chance to say the next sentence: "can't you stand the words you don't like to hear?"
later, when I was an intern, I met a good mentor who never said anything about "experienced people".
I asked his teacher how old you are.
he asked me whether age is important.
I asked him if I could tell him how to think about a problem.
he asked me if I thought about things the way he thought, would I have a chance to surpass him?
I said I envied his attitude of treating work as play and thought it was the way of life I wanted to live in the future. He continued to ask me why it should be in the future, not now.
A really good person never regards himself as the answer, let alone the past and future.
so don't be the answer in someone else's mouth, be yourself.Even at the cost of falling a few more times.