The last batch of "marriage phobia" patients
I don't like it, but I have to do it.
then the conversation took a sudden turn, and some said to themselves, "Oh, if you young people can call back, we old people will be happier." It would be better if you could give your grandmother a great-grandchild. "
Grandma sighed and said she didn't know if she was here for two years.
I dare to say to my parents that I will never get married in my life, but in front of my grandmother, it is very difficult for me to say to her that I have no one I like right now.
and these, for some people, are inevitable fears.
under the excuse of "going to Guangzhou with friends", she went to Guangzhou by herself without telling her family.
traditional and obedient, this is the label she puts on her family and herself.
and she obeyed one by one, reported her itinerary and went home on time.
so when she saw me that day, there was a trace of tension and excitement on her face, like a child watching TV while adults were not at home.
We had a little communication during the summer vacation, and one day she said to me in a very daily tone, "my mother didn't say anything just now and arranged a blind date for me."
what stunned me most was not her mother's sudden appearance, but her "expected" appearance.
her father often does an account in front of her: "graduate at 24, graduate school for 3 years, 27, try to get married at 28, and have children before 30."
this shocked me-in this formula, I only see "do what at what time", but I don't see a hint of "happiness".
it is as if she is a game character, and at a certain time (level), she has to complete a particular task.
I will end up in an arranged marriage.
then give birth to a baby, out of shape and out of shape.
my husband may still cheat, but just don't let me know.
the only time to relax is probably sleep.
but it was only at that moment that I realized that the essence of tradition is step by step.
"can I not accept the arrangement of my family?" I don't think she likes this kind of life.
this reminds me of my grandmother before the video last night.
but there are times when you have to face it, such as the blind date during the summer vacation.
all along, she knew what her parents wanted.
now she grit her teeth and study hard at her parents' favorite major, sitting in the first two rows of classes in order to get high grades, apply for IELTS and prepare to go abroad. Although she still doesn't know how to speak to her parents, she still tries to take it one step at a time.
after typing every word she said on the keyboard, I found that all her words were full of contradiction, confusion and uneasiness about "choose family or self".
"not being able to be a mother is a girl's biggest regret. A girl had better give your first time to your husband. If you miscarry too many times and you can't have a child, your husband will divorce you and he won't have any children when he is old. What should he do? "
there are a lot of similar things. Only then did I know that no matter in Liaoning in the northeast or Guangdong in the near future, no matter how enlightened the world is on the Internet,
asked readers on Weibo not long ago why they are afraid of getting married.
I showed these answers to my parents.
this is the most dramatic part.
and then the earliest post-90s are about to become elderly pregnant women,
Why is there such a saying as "afraid of marriage"?
if there is no suitable person, if you are not ready, you will not get married.
so they hinted, urged, and pushed us toward a path that was far from ready.
this is the root of the "fear of marriage"-it is not because of mistrust of love, nor out of economic worries.
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