What do you do when your life explodes?
I feel like I haven't talked to you for a long time.
I received some questions from my friends on Weibo @ Wang Zepeng not long ago.
some people said that they used to think they were good at reading, but after high school they found that no matter how to study, they could not improve their grades. Next year's college entrance examination is now a bit painful.
someone high achiever graduated in 985 and hit a brick wall frequently when looking for a job this year. He suddenly realized that he might not be as good as he had imagined, and he was sad for a long time.
there is also a friend who feels as if he can't do anything well, as if everything is a supporting role, life always goes on and on, opens his eyes in a vast expanse of ash and asks me what to do.
there are times when we are defeated, there are times when we feel tired, and there are times when we are powerless. It took me a long time to find a way to deal with these situations.
I thought I was a genius when I was very young.
since primary school, the teacher said to me, "as long as you can take this score, I will allow you not to do your homework." So when I was a student, I never had the concept of "doing homework".
when I graduated from primary school, I easily took the first place in the whole school and went to the best middle school in the city. Then with the good habit of never doing homework, he succeeded in laying the groundwork in the class.
but at that time, I still had the illusion that I was a genius. I thought that as long as I had a little reading before the high school entrance examination, I could easily be admitted to a key high school.
on the last mock exam, my chemistry score was improved by 30 points in a week.
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the misunderstanding of genius was cleared up at the moment of the results of the high school entrance examination-it was difficult for me to accept that I only finished in the bottom 50 of the school in the end.
when I got home, my parents had never seen me so quiet. They didn't blame me for not working hard, but just said, "that's it."
it's hard for me to put into words my sense of collapse at that time. I only remember that I, who hadn't cried for four or five years, locked myself in my room that day and cried against the door all afternoon.
We actually create a "human setting" for ourselves.
for example, my people set it as "genius", some people set it as "excellent", some people set it as "pure" blabla.
these people depend on the surrounding environment, and our environment has been very stable for 18 years from small to big, that is, the school.
this leads to the possibility of "human collapse" for most of us only after we graduate from college or university.
this kind of person is supposed to collapse, in fact, the outside world allows himself to doubt and deny himself.
I hope you can grow up carefree and stick to the people you originally set for your life. But unfortunately, this is not very realistic, we always encounter the time of complete self-denial.
it's a painful thing, but it motivates you to change.
just like that afternoon, after I finished crying in my room, I bought my own high school exercise materials and spent the whole summer teaching myself the contents of my first year of high school.
I also learned a little trick to face a human collapse, that is to give myself a new one.
this is difficult, but easy to use.
it's not about giving in and giving in, it's about giving in to a new way of being yourself.
however, even if you accept the fragmentation set by your own people, you may still feel very painful.
because we will climb new peaks and fall into new troughs.
when we climb to the peak, we are really happy, but when we fall to the bottom, we are also really sad. I have been thinking for a long time about how to comfort a person who has been in a low ebb for a long time, that is, a person who has been in mourning for a long time.
later, I found the answer in a speech given by Yang Qianfu: "every time we fall from the peak, it is really painful, but if you look back, you will find that every time we have a trough higher than the last time."
"and those who keep falling can see more scenery and have more endurance in the process than those who get to the top in one breath."
I have some chicken soup, but to be honest, I think it works very well.
sometimes it's easy for us to completely deny ourselves because of a trough, but don't be in such a hurry. If you look back and take a closer look, our trough is really higher than before.
this is the life of ordinary people. Grow up in twists and turns. Good night.