The more polite you are, the less free you are.
few people talk to me except for work.
the problem lies with me because I don't respond to other people's messages very much.
friends who know me don't complain about me much anymore, but sometimes Weibo readers blame me for not being able to read it back.
they said I was impolite.
every time I can only say sorry, I am really impolite.
politeness is a good quality, which means that one knows how to take care of other people's emotions.
but the more people know how to take care of other people's emotions, the less free they are.
even this lack of freedom can permeate every aspect of life.
there may not be many people like me who say frankly that they are impolite, but there are plenty of people like A Tong who are polite.
she is really polite and takes care of people's emotions. She is there every time she is looking for her, and the last sentence of every chat must be her.
even she will judge from the speed of your reply to the message whether you are busy or not, and then end the topic appropriately.
there was a period when I was so busy that I could only talk to her about work after 12:30 every evening.
one night after chatting for a week, she suddenly said to me cautiously, "that." I'm sorry. I'm not feeling well. I can't hold on. Can I see you tomorrow night? "
I froze, and then got a little angry: "Why didn't you say so earlier?" Go and have a rest. "
I was really angry. It was my fault to talk about work in the middle of the night, but she made a mistake.
what should I do when my emotions conflict with those of others?
when the emotions of An and B conflict, how to take care of them?
when a person habitually takes care of other people's emotions, he is easily tired to death by this habit.
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but if politeness can be exchanged for a better living environment, I gnash my teeth and think it makes sense.
but those who take care of their emotions always take an inch because of positive feedback.
really, there are too many similar examples.
I have seen some boys berate some girls, saying, "if you don't like me, why do you reply to every message?"
at this time, if the girl says weakly that I'm just being polite, the boy will scold her in turn.
if you talk to me, I'll have to reply to you, otherwise it's impolite.
so if you like me, do I have to like you back, or else it's impolite?
reciprocity is a terrible word.
now I am more and more afraid of the word politeness because it can sometimes be a reason to ask a person to do something.
whether you are happy or not, it is impolite not to reply to the message.
disobedience is impolite, regardless of whether the elders are respectable or not.
you obviously feel that something is wrong, obviously think that the other person is wrong, but out of politeness, you can accept this kind of abnormality and mistake.
Don't you think that all these politeness have become cages?
and many times, when I say I don't like politeness, people fall into the black-and-white misunderstanding and think I'm promoting rudeness.
I don't think much of politeness, as I said at the beginning, politeness is a good quality.
it's just that anything good can go too far.
when we were young, we were taught to be polite, so that whenever someone attacked us with "you have no manners at all", we would start to panic.
so you forgot to reply to the news that others came to you for help because you were so busy. Instead, you have to say sorry with apology. I didn't see it.
so the elders put forward excessive demands, saying that it is easy for you as a college student. You were just about to say that I was busy but held back, nodded and said yes, they praised you for being sensible.
in observation, I think words such as morality and politeness have developed so much in long-term education that they sometimes change their taste.
and the scariest things come not only from the outside world, but also from ourselves.
because we are always thinking about how to take care of others and whether it would be appropriate to do so, because it is impolite to say "no", we gradually hide our right to say no.
Freedom is not measured by how much you can do, but how much you don't have to do.
but some things have been hidden for a long time, so they don't know how to use them.
in this era, we are always talking about freedom, not because we already have freedom, but precisely because freedom has not yet emerged, so we should constantly remind ourselves and others.
on the contrary, under most education, people's conservative and search for sense of security is "excessive".
what I want to write about this article at first includes the disadvantages of freedom.
but later, in the middle of writing, I remembered a lot of things and decided to put the disadvantages of freedom in another article, because I hope that more people can let go of themselves under the pressure of the environment.
good night again.